Bits For Rent

There was a series of ads run when I was just entering grade school, all of which tried to drive home this one zany idea: reading is good for you. The ads, paid for by Reading is Fundamental, one of the oldest if not the oldest non-profit organizations in the country, usually featured a celebrity or athlete giving a short PSA about how important it is to read, and some other words of encouragement. While the impact of the campaign is hard to judge in retrospect, thinking back on it now makes me question just how much time children, teenagers, and even college students, spend reading.

Reading is Fundamental featuring Shaq

Granted, I come at this topic from a very biased perspective. Among my close friends, I can only name perhaps a handful that read at their own leisure. The rest will only pick up a book if it has a name like Dan Brown or Harry Potter on the cover. (Those I know reading this that are fans of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight books, you don’t count because you are sparkly non-humans. Sorry.)

I, on the other hand, read voraciously. Not that I can crush a book in a few hours — I’m actually slow as hell — but I just find it to be an enjoyable experience. A good novel can be just as exciting to me as the latest LOST or Breaking Bad. Plus, I’m sort of a sponge when it comes to information; I’m willing to learn about almost anything, and a lot of the fun in reading a book or watching, say, the Discovery channel is learning about cool shit you would normally never have noticed.

So why is it that the newspaper industry is withering into a frail, forgotten relic of the past and that this new online-enabled generation is so averse to paperbacks? Have Americans finally shucked the last remnants of tradition from their lives or is this part of something larger? I can think of three pretty good reasons for why paper is out, and everything else — movies, TV, gaming, music, youtube, et al — is in:

1. The Move to Online Has Made Reading More Difficult

This is something that a lot of people addressing the fall of print tend to overlook. When reading text online over a long period of time, our eyes feel far more strained than they do when we read printed text. A lot of this has to do with the nature of the display. When we were using CRT monitors, information was being spit out onto the screen in much the same way tube-based televisions work: a line of colors was sprayed onto the glass one line at a time, filling in vertically from top to bottom. This process normally takes place at a rate of 60 or 75 Hz, which means that each line would be “refreshed” every 1/60 or 1/75 of a second. So, when you see footage of a monitor flickering in the background or when your monitor actually begins to flicker, what you’re seeing is actually the switching of the image from the old data to new data. The faster this switch occurs, the more it seems like it was one image. Think of it like spinning fan blades: the fast the fan goes, the harder it is to distinguish the individual blades. By speeding up a refresh rate, we fool our eyes into thinking they’re seeing a solid object, rather than flashes of data.

Still with me? Good.

What this all boils down to is that monitors, since they cannot display solid images, make reading difficult. They are much better suited to displaying video, like a television set, because the motion inherent in that medium masks the constantly refreshing lines of data. Thus, if we are sitting in front of a computer, our brains are naturally going to push us towards watching something on Hulu or Youtube than towards an article from the New York Times. With technology pushing us more and more into a world full of electronic displays and digital data, it makes perfect sense that reading has begun to fall off. It is simply not conducive to the lifestyle we are all adopting.

Thankfully, however, technology works like a pendulum, always coming back to its point of origin before proceeding onward again. New display technologies such as e-ink and OLED (organic light-emitting diodes, for the nerds) promise to make staring at a screen far easier on our eyes. The former, used in e-book readers such as Amazon’s Kindle, displays a static page of text, thereby mimicking the look of printed text. It feels incredibly natural to look at, and serves as a solid replacement for carrying a book or newspaper around with you. Plus, the ability to have thousands of books on one device is a convenience all in of itself. So long as we continue to push for development of these kind of replacement products, reading may still have a shot. “Books” as we know them may not continue to exist outside the world of academia for much longer, but the ideas carried within the will always have a home somewhere.

2. A Surplus of Entertainment

This one is pretty straightforward. Simply put, the internet is a vast ocean of content. There are websites hosting video, only bit players in the online world, that have enough content to let you watch something new every hour for years. Most of them, you haven’t heard of. Others, such as Hulu, Crackle, and youtube, upload so much new material that it would take dedication and a large helping of omnipotence on the viewer’s part to try and consume it all. And that’s just video. We also have audio websites, such as Last.fm and Pandora, that let us find new artists, listen to our favorites, and create our very own personalized radio stations. Plus, there’s a whole world of free web games out there. Kongregate, for example, hosts thousands of titles, has multiplayer and community features, tracks achievements for registered users, and charges nary a penny to do it. And this is just some of the stuff online that I happen to know offhand. We also have iPods, Nintendo DSes, PSPs, smartphones and other handheld devices to carry with us in our back pockets, ready to entertain us at a moments notice, with no need for a light so that you can read at night or a place to sit, since you can’t really walk around reading without running the risk of crashing into someone or something.

The world is, quite literally, at our fingertips. Knowing that, do we really still have time to see if Professor Langdon finds the next clue?

3. The Fickle Consumer

The title is rather self-explanatory. As devourers — because at the rate at which we receive information, be it from twitter, facebook, youtube, whathaveyou, it really is devouring — of media content, we like the flexibility of being able to choose what we’re going to entertain ourselves with in our free time. I can go on Hulu right now and pick from watching an episode of Fringe, or maybe Family Guy, or maybe The Daily Show, or maybe I’ll watch a movie. But nothing is forcing me to watch any of these, or even watch something at all.

Compare that to reading a book. When you crack open the cover on a novel, you feel an obligation to continue reading that damn stack of paper until you’ve reached the end. Most likely that wouldn’t occur in one sitting. But as that book lies on your nightstand, or your desk, you look at it with a sense of foreboding — it must be finished. It isn’t right to stop reading it after three chapters. You’ll never know what happens if you stop now. With TV or film, the commitment is hardly ever more than a few hours. With a book, it could take you months before you reach the last page. That bothers us, a lot.

And so, reading is not beloved, but begrudged. We know that it can be fun — the success of Harry Potter proves it — but yet we also know it can be very tiring, even boring. Hell, “textbook” is practically slang for “bore you to death.” Reading has failed because the nature of the process is unforgiving. A TV show can have a bad episode or scene, but still be worth watching. (Heroes somehow keeps getting renewed, after all.) A book, if its bad, has no fallback. There are no hidden pages glued together; the entire package is there, before your eyes, irreparable for all eternity. So we divest ourselves of reading, of going to the bookstore and picking up a random novel on the shelf, of sitting back on a rainy day and transporting ourselves into the mind of great storyteller. We turn on the TV instead, and tune out.

If you’ve stayed with me this far, did you tune out while you were reading some of this? Did you want to go check someone’s status updates, or just wish I’d get to the damn point already? Did that youtube link just send you off on a tangent of viewing that you never recovered from? Perhaps one of the above is true for some of you. Even so, don’t let the irony of the moment be lost on you. As you just read 1600 words on the slow death of reading, you were in fact preserving that very enterprise. So thank you, for reading, and for valuing words just a little bit more than something else that could have kept you busy for as long as this took to finish. Even if it was just this once.

I’ll take a break from talking about games to talk about the Fall line-up of shows that I’m watching. There’s an awful lot of them, so this should be a decently sized post. Also, if you’re wondering how I have time for all of these, let me just say that Bit Torrent is a great invention. If only network TV offered On Demand, though. Sigh.

Let’s start with the first day of the week, so long as you’re not considering it officially: Monday. ?NBC has monday so locked up that every other channel must hang their heads and weep when they look at the ratings–except for CBS because they get all the dumbfuck viewers that love crime dramas and bad sitcoms (Criminal Minds, The Unit, Cold Case, CSI: Every City on Earth… come on, guys). At 8pm we have Chuck, an awesomely nondescript name for an awesomely unique new series. Chuck is a member of the Nerd Herd at Buy More (Hello, Best Buy!), and he accidentally opened a file from an old, and now dead, friend of his which showed him every government secret ever known. And of course, being the smart nerd that he is, Chuck subconsciously remembers it all. So when he sees some random guy, he may get flashes of a bomb-maker from the Czech Republic or something crazy like that. And thankfully he has Firefly’s Jane and a hottie from the CIA to protect him and his valuable little noggin’. Overall, if you have even the slightest of nerdiness in you and have ever thought of being a secret agent, this show is the tits. Highly recommended.

Sadly, the show that follows Chuck at 9pm was probably my second-favorite of last season, topped only by the indomitable LOST. Heroes has been slipping this season, and across the board for all the characters it feels like the writers are grasping at straws for new plotlines–we can’t write them off unless we kill them off, after all. This makes for some sticky situations, such as Claire’s classmate that immediately becomes infatuated with spying on her and exposing her powers; Nikki/Jessica has essentially been written off (thank you!) since she is utterly worthless to the plot and serves only as eye candy to the hormone-riddled teen viewers; Hiro is stuck in the past rewriting history; Peter is an amnesiac that apparently didn’t blow up but now hangs with Irish thugs; and Nathan and Sylar are the only two dependable characters left, with the former seeing scarred versions of himself in the mirror (rather than the bearded, drunken self that is mourning his brother) and the latter trying to regain his powers by eating some fresh brains. There also the two worst characters ever in a series (Paolo and that other bitch have nothing on these two, I swear) introduced this season: Maya and Alejandro. Basically, one of them kills people by bleeding out of her eyes whenever she isn’t being stupid, and the other saves her and the would-be victims by sucking the eye-poison into his own body. Seriously, who came up with this shit? Recommended only for series vets; everyone else go buy season one on DVD.

Batting clean-up for monday is the show I had the most hopes for this season, if only because I loved Rome so much: Journeyman. Essentially a non-sci-fi sci-fi show about a guy that randomly warps through time to save people or help them through their lives, the show is interesting for a number of reasons. One, the mechanics of the time travel are completely unpredictable and unfounded in any sort of “lab accident” or government experiment– the dude just warps to 1987 from inside a taxi cab. Plus his supposedly dead old girlfriend is hanging around in the past, too, also blessed with these space-shifting powers. I guess what I enjoy most about the show is that it tries to make each episode work on two levels: one has Dan, our hero, trying to figure out what the hell is going on while maintaining a somewhat-stable life in the real world; the other is a stand-alone vignette, where we learn about some stranger and their inner demons, and search for a way to ultimately send them on a path of righteousness. It’s definitely more sober than the other shows mentioned so far, but I think sticking with it will prove worthwhile in the end. Recommended.

What isn’t so good about Mondays, however, is the current season of Prison Break. I swear, I have seen the same situation for nearly 50 episodes in a row, and it was only entertaining the first twenty-something (that’s season one, fyi). We now have the Michael and the people who were chasing him all locked into a prison in Panama, and he’s being forced (seriously, forced) to escape/break out within a week or his girlfriend and nephew die. Talk about keeping things fresh. This is like watching a new season of 24, only with 24 we know that everything is supposed to happen in a day and Jack has to save the world because he’s a superhero and has done it six times already. Michael is not a superhero, and he is not Jack Bauer. He is a smart kid that is in some deep shit, and there’s no way this scenario can play out without jumping a shark. This show was never meant for more than two seasons. Put it to bed with some dignity, Fox. Viewable, but not recommended, on for those who’ve seen Season 1 and 2.

Moving on with the week, there’s more House goodness on Tuesdays (absolutely recommended; House is the greatest character on TV right now and he demands your attention!), and a slew of crap being bombarded at us on Wednesday. I have been trying to watch Bionic Woman, but honestly the show is a failure for one critical reason: the main character is uninteresting and plays out like all “with great power comes great responsibility” heroes do, only sappier because the writers play up here female ‘tude. There’s some serious shit in the first episode: major car crash, loses her unborn child, and then has her boyfriend assassinated… but never do we care about this girl’s feelings. What makes the show watchable are the great performances by Katee Sackhoff (Starbuck from Battlestar Galactica in a great anti-hero role) and the secretive agency goons that our Bionic Woman has to report to. There’s a lot of murky details that the viewer is being baited with right now–boyfriend’s father is bailed out of super-high-security prison, agency has voyeuristic backlog of data on the Bionic Girl, and the asian martial arts master has a love affair with the evil Ms. Sackhoff when he isn’t beating the shit out of our femme fatale–but it’s a strain to put up with Rachel or whatever her name is to find out more about what’s going on. This is a “watch it whenever” show, not something to clear your schedule for. If you’re interested in anything I’ve said, check it out. If not, don’t bother.

Ok, fingers are getting tired. Quick hitters: South Park, it’s more of the same. I’ve never loved South Park but it’s usually pretty clever, so I tune in to check it out when it’s on. But this part of the season is not impressing me at all. It feels like Matt and Trey have a score to settle with just about everyone nowadays, and I’d rather have more episodes like Cartman wants a Wii or Make Love not Warcraft than the “on message” nudge-nudge episodes about taking huge craps. I’m also watching curb your enthusiam, because Larry David is an evil genius and he’s always a win in my book, plus I turn on Bill Maher when I can for a bit of enlightenment about current affairs. He’s never heavy-handed and the issues covered are always engaging and cover a wide range of topics, so it’s a great refresher after a long week. If you’ve got HBO, you should be watching him.

And… that’s all for tonight. I’ll be back soon with the rest of the video game, book, and music talk. Seven weeks without writing sure makes your fingers tire out faster than they used to. Or perhaps that’s strain from too much Team Fortress 2. Ah, I’ve said too much!

Despair seems to be lingering over me like a little black rain cloud. After the tragedy I suffered in May, today I was forced to put my best friend down, a 13-year-old golden retriever. There’s not much more I will say about that other than it has been one of the most difficult days in my life, and that I will miss him dearly.

Perhaps equally depressing, I’ve been boiling away most of my evenings playing LOTRO (that’s Lord of the Rings Online for those who aren’t in the know). Having not played any MMOs of any sort save for a brief trial-period stint on the original Lineage, the world is shockingly familiar. Essentially, the game plays out like the epic Elder Scrolls titles, only with the added advantage (or disadvantage) of being inhabited by thousands of other dwarves, hobbits, and elves. Indeed, our colorful variety are rather antlike in our manner, marching to and fro, quests in hand, chopping at bears and spiders that may net us m4d l00t or some equally valuable equivalent. It’s a tenuous process that nevertheless feels sufficiently rewarding as each level is gained and new abilities are unlocked. At times, the sheer scale of the world and number of quests facing you can be incredibly daunting, but with continued effort and determination–like a mountaineer scaling Everest–the XP rolls in and you gradually feel more and more like the Saviour of Middle-earth you set out to become.

What I think to be the key to this game’s many hooks is the Deed system. By performing a range of different tasks, such as visiting all the ruins in one area or killing X number of Goblins, players can unlock additional Trait points (little stat modifiers that make you heal faster, less vulnerable to certain attacks, etc.) or, better yet, titles. These little sayings are attached to your name in the game, so for instance I can be Aragorn, Bane of the Barrows, or Gimli, Defender of Ered Luin, or just Sam Adams, Shire Brewmaster. So not only are you completing quests for the sake of building your character, you’re getting new names and buffs the more you branch out and explore the world, too. And if the content releases remain steady–Turbine just released a pack that added and entire new area to the game, which is essentially like a 15% content increase–then I can see my dwarf remaining a protector of the Shire, growing fierce with age, for quite some time. Just no Role-playing in my presence, Tolkein-sluts. I will shove my lute down your throat if I so much as see you typing elvish in my Fellowship.

And as an aside, I’ve started working my way through Planet Earth. Two words: Holy Fuckingshit. This is undoubtedly one of the coolest, most amazing documentaries I’ve ever seen. If you haven’t seen the show, go buy it. DVD, HD-DVD, Blu-ray, I don’t care. This is mandatory viewing.

I’m not even going to go into why I haven’t written a damned thing in two weeks. Let’s get busy.

I am officially in love with Cormac McCarthy…’s writing. After reading The Road last month I went to the bookstore and purchased the soon-to-be-a-theatrical-film No Country For Old Men, and it was–in a word– stunning. I’ll be very up front about it all: the man does not write comedies. Both books are dark and tragic in their own way, full of death and fear and brutality. Yet at the end of both novels, you realize that the point of the book wasn’t to envelop you in this violent and bloodthirsty reality, but instead to celebrate the smaller victories that come with even the biggest tragedies. I honestly cannot allow myself to say any more on the subject, as ruining either work would feel downright sinful, but rest assured that spending your money on either book will bring you hours of rapture and a strong dosage of enlightenment. For me, having recently suffered a rather dark hour in my own life, finding some solace in McCarthy’s bare prose and terse worlds was truly a blessing. I consider it my duty to inform you that such a feeling should not be hoarded, but shared with as many people as possible. So, go buy a book you bums. It’s summer, after all. I doubt you’re doing anything more productive.

BUT BUT BUT! Before you close this tab (you lazy little scumbuckets that can’t read more than one-hundred word posts I spit at you), Allow me some more gushing.

Planet Earth. I just got the thing on Blu-Ray and–after watching the first episode in HD a few weeks ago–I can’t think of anything I’m more excited to do that pop this bitch in tomorrow. If I ever for a moment regretted purchasing a PS3, this little gem has made it all worth it. Seriously, I haven’t even popped it in yet but somehow owning the series has lifted my spirits and brought a sparkle to my eye. Nature is a beautiful thing, and I am anxious to finally watch something that accurately captures its glory.

Afro Samurai is another one of my purchases, but I haven’t yet watched this Director’s Cut. Apparently most of the new footage is for the sex scene (BOOBIES BOOBIES BOOBIES!), but either way the show is some of the most balls-out ass-kickingly (not a real word) good anime I’ve seen in a while. Of course, the other anime I’m watching is Monster, which is far from ass-kicking but still good, so I guess you could say that I’m in good company as far as video is concerned.

Unfortunately though I haven’t had time to play my purchased copy of Odin Sphere, since I am boycotting myself from playing anything until I beat FFXII, which also means I’m waiting to buy Tomb Raider Anniversary, something I’m rather giddy to sink my teeth into. The other side of this coin is actually uplifting as far as I’m concerned: I’ve stopped playing Pokemon. Yes, I became champion, saw the 150, and quit. I know there’s a whole ‘nother island to go see, and all the 354 or something remaining pokemon to grab, but fuck it, I have more important games to play. Like Lunar Knights. And Tomb Raider. Bah, talking about pokeys gets me angry. I think I’ll leave off here for now. I’m going to go start Suite Francaisse tomorrow (finally!) and of course binge on Planet Earth. I’ll hopefully be back with more on those soon.

There is a certain level at which the process of gaming becomes purely an unconscious action. Rather than having to focus our physical and mental efforts on avoiding obstacles in Mario, or perfectly countering an opponent’s attack in Virtua Fighter, we can simply “see” the game as it unfolds, as if we had somehow transcended beyond the limits of the controller and television interface and laid bare the code before us. I speak of those games that are wholly pure, unadulterated by level-ups or plot or side quests. Tetris, Galaga, Bejeweled. These are all such experiences. But recently I have discovered a new entry into this most upper of echelons. They have named it Calling All Cars.

I see your faces. Your noses are wrinkling. Your eyes may be rolling. Calling All Cars in the same league as Tetris? Yes. I am not expressing bias in any way, other than a bias for pure, fun gaming. CAC is indeed a Tetris-like experience, and let me tell you why. Each game consists of the same formula: a prisoner escapes, you race to catch him, a battle for possesion ensues; you race to return him to jail, a battle for scoring ensues; rinse and repeat. The formula is simple, and utterly effective. Rather than letting the game become a Twisted Metal where a bevy of power ups and vehicle types effect the balance of the game, Calling All Cars keeps things as basic as possible. You can pick a vehicle, but they all drive the same. Likewise, there are only three power-ups to speak of: a hammer to hit the ground with, jarring the prisoner from a competitor’s car; a magnet–the trickiest of the three–which allows for long-range swipes; and also a homing missile perfect for nullifying a run to the station when your four wheels just aren’t fast enough.

In total, these elements all blend together for an experience that is quite simply the most mindlessly brilliant and entertaining game I’ve played since perhaps Meteos or Tetris DS. I am not lying when I spent four hours straight in front of my TV with this game. It was just that satisfying.

Other than that, I’ve been playing Lunar Knights and Pokemon, and am once again about to dip into FFXII now that my PS3 has PS2 video upscaling turned on. I took a peek at the game in 720p and nearly lost a night’s sleep with the anticipation of level grinding in the new forest area I had reached. To all the haters of FFXII’s gambit system, you haughty, “old school” devotees can go plant your heads up your asses, because you don’t deserve to be gaming anymore. I’m done with you.

… I guess I could talk about season finales for Lost and Heroes, one being utterly astounding and the other utterly devastating (in its suckatude), but I think I’ve filled my quota for the use of the word utterly today. I’ve got a long weekend of packing and moving furniture ahead of me, but when I come back I’ll have hopefully started Odin Sphere and be able to discuss that. Until then, may the sheep-trees be with you.

I guess the last entry took the wind out of me. It’s certainly been a while since I’ve managed to come around and punch anything in to this little text field that was worth punching in, but I’ll spare the lengthy diatribes for another time and just chat about some recent goings-on.

Since the last time I posted, Arctic Monkeys released their second CD, Favourite Worst Nightmare, and I’ve probably listened to the whole thing well beyond a dozen times. At just over 38 minutes, the disc is an dense compilation of break-ups, breakdowns, cultural criticisms and wry ballads about sex kittens now domesticated. It’s every bit what you’ve come to expect from the explosive little band of Brit youngsters, with a dash of cock-punching thrown in for good measure. If you like rock, then be prepared to hear some of the best guitar and drum coordination this side of the year 2000. I do not exaggerate.

Other than music, I’ve been dividing my time up betwixst a medley of anime, sci-fi, and good old fashion gaming. In terms of the latter, I’ve recently detailed the rekindled love affair between myself and Pokemon Diamond on the aL forums, plus I’ve been finding spare moments to level up and explore the world of Ivalice once more in Final Fantasy XII. I really wish that the PS3/Wii hype hadn’t occured at the same time as this game’s release, because if it weren’t for those things I honestly believe that I could have written about this game for months on end. (Which reminds me, I never did finish the Legend of Zelda articles on here… blast it all.) Something about playing an RPG where the story is so rich and the characters so complex and the combat so effortless that at times I merely steer my party around with naught but the analog sticks just seems so divine. Being able to type long sentences about such a game is also quite enriching, but I shant detract from my love session to indulge in that just yet. In reality, words are lost in describing how beautiful the world of FFXII is, even in its starkest dungeons and most vile of villains’ smiles. Undoubtedly, my game of the year for 2006. Bar none.

But what of the pokeymons? Ah, pokemon. Such an interesting one, that. I really do like the psuedo-3D that Game Freak went with in this one, as well as the nice big touch screen buttons that you tap on to carry out battles. Both add a great deal of charm and endearment to a series that is growing considerably long in the tooth. I cannot say I have great pleasure in the first 4 or so hours of the game that I have played. Something about the fact that the wild pokemon always being so weak and so repetitive (500 types and I’ve only got 14 logged in my Pokedex? What. The. Fuck.) and that first dungeon always being Rock pokeys just annoys me. And I had to get running shoes to move fast? What the hell was I wearing to begin with? Cinderblocks?

Early nags aside, the game does show some serious potential to fuck up my summer. I’ve been limiting my play sessions quite moderately, but once the looming figure of finals week has passed over me, it’s balls-out gaming time for me. Ninja Gaiden Sigma demo (Fucking SICK! You have no idea.), FFXII, and Pokemons to keep me company at the pool is going to make for a May like no other. Or like every other, only better. Either way, me and my Fire-spitting, Fear-of-God-inducing baboon Momo are going to be kicking ass and taking names for quite some time. That is, unless someone hands me my ass on the Nintendo WFC.

Two more bits I want to jot down here. First off, I’ve been trying to force-feed myself some anime, since I’ve been rather avoiding the stuff overall for the past few months. I’m working through Samurai 7 (good), and I totally made Afro Samurai at the top of my Buy List (right up there with the Pan’s Labyrinth DVD), but the one that has be intrigued the most right now is Madhouse’s Claymore. It’s essentially the same fucking cartoon we’ve seen forever: rogue, solitary antihero goes around killing demons or whatever in different towns, saves an obnoxious little brat and ends up buddying up with the kid to become a more “human” figure and learn a bit more about right and wrong, or something. What’s endearing to me is the animation quality and apparent spit-polish that’s been put into such a straight-forward plot. The visuals are truly striking, and each of the three episodes aired so far have been enjoyable from start to finish, enough so that I’m actually eager for my next filling. Madness, I say.

Oh, and then there’s some show called Battlestar Galactica that I decided to download and try out. I think you’ve probably heard of it. All I can say is holy shit how was I so late to this fucking party. The show has everything I require from life: a hot chick walking around talking nonsense while being naked or wearing something incredibly hot, a scientist that is out of his freakin’ mind with hallucinations and paranoia, a craggy old commander struggling to fight a war and keep his life together, hulking-ass robots that trying to wipe humanity out entirely, and a giant game of Guess Who’s the Cylon that only gets more and more intriguing with each episode. Color me impressed, folks. I’m about halfway through season one, and after watching the past seven episodes and the miniseries I’m just about ready to call myself a fan. And as my parting words for the evening, I would recommend you becoming one, too.

There was so much awesome that happened to me in January that I feel ashamed to have hidden it all beneath melancholy and social reprimands.  As such, please allow me a moment to recap the parts of the month that I will remember fondly for some time.

Children of Men – I have been waiting for a film like this for such a long time.  Every since the dystopian future cliche began making a comeback with The Matrix and Equilibrium, I have wanted to see a morally grounded and emotionally riveting narrative caked in psuedo-futurism.  Equilibrium wanted to be that film; the acting chops of Sean Bean and Christian Bale driving a strongly Orwellian message of humanity home in a movie that studios nearly destroyed.  Kurt Wimmer knows how to make good science fiction, but with both that film and the atrocious Ultraviolet, he has had his hands tied behind his back and his legs chained in iron.  If studios don’t allow this man some freedom, he may very well throw himself overboard in despair.

Which is why I love Alfonso Cuaron.  The man single-handedly salvaged the Harry Potter franchise from a cheery “Everyone-cheers-at-the-credits” schlock of mediocrity and morphed it into an ethereal, frightening fantasy world.  What is perhaps the best book in the series is undoubtedly the best movie made of the series so far, and is an impressive display of the man’s creative muscle.  Watch this film again if you doubt me.  Watch and notice how the camera never seems to stop moving up, down, around the characters.  Providing a sense of pace and unsettling presence throughout a very dark and fear-filled story.  The man is dominate, and Children of Men is the proof in the pudding.

Much the same can be said of Clive Owen, a rising star quickly becoming one of my favorite actors.  The man has a look perfect for the film: rugged, worn, but endowed with strength.  He proved to be capable of more prosaic performances in the play adaptation Closer, but in Children of Men he proves equally as fit for the role of humanity’s savior.  Theo, Owen’s character, is the Detective Deckard of this millennium.  Overcoming physical odds and pressing on and on towards a goal that he knows is beyond his ability to reach.  But while Blade Runner’s ending left us with a “what if” concerning his own fate, Children of Men leaves us pondering our own.  Could infertility become the next epidemic, and if so, what does that mean for us?  One of the most powerful films to come along in quite some time.  You owe it to yourselves to see this.

Pan’s Labyrinth – If any film can compete for top honors of the year against Children of Men, it is this one.  Make no mistake, this is not a typical foreign film.  Guillermo Del Toro is a seasoned director, and his visual style was met with reasonable success in the competent if not noteworthy Hellboy.  It’s a very distinct look: deep blue hues cover everything, and a very earthy, overgrown look applies itself to all aspects of the set.  And this look is part of the reason why Pan’s is such a successful movie.

Since I assume most of you are unfamiliar with the title, imagine if you will a Grimm fairytale, but not the watered down, Disney-approved versions you may have seen before.  This is the real kind: dark and violent, with an ending that is meant to scare as well as educate.  Pan’s Labyrinth is that fairytale, both visually and in story.  The young girl who stands at the heart of the tale, Ofelia, is trapped with her pregnant mother in a captain’s home during the Spanish Civil War.  Saddened by the pain and stress her unborn brother is bringing upon her frail mother and the violence of the war around her, Ofelia’s only escape in through her fantasies, which come to life with aid of a menacing and ancient faun.  According to the creature, Ofelia must complete three tasks before the full moon if she wishes to join her true father, the King of the Underworld, once more.  Three tasks that become increasingly horrifying and traumatic for a girl already living with both.

This is not a movie that can be enjoyed by children, or possibly even adolescents.  The themes that carry throughout the film are both emotionally and visually mature.  The creatures Ofelia must encounter, both real and fantastical, are the ultimate representations of villiany: violent, sadistic, greedy, and malevolent.  Yet at the same time, there is a warm fire burning in every frame; a small moment of comfort here, a glimpse of compassion there.  With such an air of evil looming throughout the movie’s very atmospheric settings, the viewer is only further engrossed by the few frames of goodness Del Toro has sprinkled throughout.  By the time the film hits its final act and all the wheels are spinning, one cannot help but pull back and gasp at the awesome talent this writer and director has unleashed on the screen.  Even the end, as sorrowful as it may seem, has a strange sense of happiness to it.  The fantasy has eclipsed reality, and we are all subject to its awkward but comforting embrace.  If you have any desire to see a truly excellent film, find a way to a theater showing this one.  You’ll thank yourself later.

The Office – Where the hell have I been?  Apparently Steve Carrell has been starring in one of – if not the – funniest shows I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing for the past two years.  After finishing the first two seasons of The Office, I am completely stunned that it took me this long to find such a gem of a show.  To put it simply, The Office takes a small cast of character actors and, despite the seemingly limited canvas of working at a paper company, crafts one of the most original and inventive scenarios to grace network television.

I could go to lengths describing each and every character and how perfectly the entire cast works together, never stealing the spotlight from one another despite Carrell’s screen-eating performances or the not-so-subtle “friendship” of Jim and Pam.  Even Dwight’s brown-nosing, control freak spasms are only at best complementary to the rest of the office.  Behind every stare, smirk, or dead-pan one-liner there is a laugh to be found, and I must say it has never felt good to laugh so hard.  I look forward to catching up on Season 3 this month and making The Office part of my weekly show rotation.  If you ever needed a reason to stay home Thursday nights, NBC has definitely given you one.

And I guess that does it for my January recap.  I’ll probably end up doing the same for February, since this one seems to have worked out rather well.  Until the next time I hit submit, so long and good watching.

Before I make the announcement on the “big news” of the week for me, I need to backtrack and mention a few things. Let’s move to the TV front.

Day Break is a new series running on ABC to occupy the LOST time slot, 9 p.m. on Wednesdays, and I’ve gone from cynic to singing its praises over the past few episodes. The show started with a monumental two-hour pilot, introducing us to Taye Diggs’ character Detective Derrick Hopper and his awkward case of Groundhog Day. But while the overall plot structure sounds like something you may have heard before, the intricacies of the serialized action are what have truly snared the hooks in me. Each episode requires the viewer to be attentive to every detail, and Hopper gets only one shot each day at learning something new about why he’s being framed and how to save his girlfriend and sister from certain death (over and over again). I highly recommend checking out the first couple episodes off ABC.com if they’re on there, or you’re favorite torrent source.

Second, just a check up on shows I’ve got in my weekly rotation: Prison Break (go find the first season and rent it or buy it. The close-calls every few episodes are tiring but the cast is well-developed and the escape at the end of the season is the ultimate payoff.); Heroes (what is there to say? If you’re not already watching this show, start doing so when it returns early next year. The constant Japanese, the rich variety of cast members and the sly comic book references are a delight for anyone familiar with the works of Moore, Loeb, and Miller.); Lost (duh); and House (the idiosyncracies of his character are irresistable. House is the asshole you can’t help but want to emulate when faced with the idiots of society). I can’t say enough good things about any of these shows, but I have to say that if it you’ve ever considered tuning in to any of these in the least, do so. At worst, it will keep you from watching CBS crime dramas five nights a week. God knows we don’t need another CSI.

Moving on, I suppose I need to harp on FFXII a little bit more: 25 hours in, it’s still a fantastic game. Gambits have reached a whole new level of importance, and status effects are the biggest pain in the ass since, well, Confuse. I’ve been avoiding playing it this week due to the “big news” and also final exams, but I’ll be ready to sink my teeth back into it starting next week. The siren songs of the Chocobos truly are irresistable.

Hmm… I feel like there’s a bunch else I need to write down but isn’t coming to the top of my head. Obviously I can’t talk about what’s up this week yet… ah yes, there’s always the PS3.

I must confess: lately, I’ve been very doubtful of my reasoning behind purchasing a PS3. Yes, it has Resistance, a game I truly want to play, and yes it will play all my PS2 games and free up space on my dresser, but what is the real motivation to get it now, as opposed to say, February? I suppose my eagerness to have a new, HD-capable console may be getting the better of me. It’s just an innate desire I have as a gamer to have the latest and greatest tech; the same urge hit me last year, but I held off and promised to wait for Sony. At the same time, though, I’m eying the availability and prevalence of great titles on the 360 and beginning to question how rational that may be at this point. Buy a $600 system with two or three games now with the assurance of many great games and exclusives to come, or buy a $400 system with three or four great games now and many more exclusives still to come. Viva Pinata (laugh all you want, it looks great), Rainbow Six, Gears of War… and that’s just this holiday season.

Then again, that really is this holiday season for 360 owners. They’ve long been famous for jumping on every great game released and leaving it for dead two weeks after release, but will the trend continue? PS3 has me covered with a library of old titles at my disposal and major releases already in the pipeline for Q1, but 360 has the instant satisfaction. The choice is truly a tough one, as there is no way to make a wrong decision at this point. I’m still leaning tentatively towards the PS3 for now, but time will tell what my ultimate decision may be.

Ok, that’ll wrap it up for tonight. I’ll be back soon with The Story.

I feel obliged to blog today, although why and about what have yet to reveal themselves to me. I suppose that for the time being I shall, as the saying goes, “run with it.”

There is a rumor going around that movies are getting too long and overblown on fat budgets that make even Rueben Studdard look like Nicole Richie. (Where the hell is that guy, anyway? Hanging out with Justin?) I, for one, disagree wholeheartedly with this notion. Sure, you may have to take a piss break or two more than you’re accustomed to — those of you with poor bladders, that is — but the fact of the matter is that you can’t rush art. Do people feel ill of Square-Enix when they announce that Final Fantasy MX is going to be over 60 hours long? Hell no. Do people get mad at Stephen King for writing 800-page novels? Well, maybe for the novel part, but not the length. And so why should we take offense when a director decides he wants to leave less than 70% of his movie on the cutting room floor?

The fact of the matter is this: most great movies are over two hours long. A lot of really good ones are nearly 120 minutes. Goodfellas, The Godfather, Apocalypse Now, The Lord of the Rings, The Empire Strikes Back, Dances With Wolves, Taxi Driver… I’m trying to be random and make a point at the same time, but I assume you catch my drift.

The point is, going to the movies is not supposed to be a throwaway experience. Movie sales have declined over the past decade because we’ve become a culture of instant satisfaction and unabashed gratuity. YouTube, Google, iTunes, portable music, video, and TV players. MP3 Cell phones. The world is running on a caffeine cocktail stuck straight into its brain. If we can’t get somewhere within 10 minutes it’s a long trip. If we aren’t watching something with half-second clips every few minutes its boring and unwatchable. Take a look at music videos over on MTV… I mean VH1… I mean Fuse… Or perhaps you should just pull out your video iPod. LOOK AT THAT SHIT BEING SHOVED THROUGH YOUR OPTIC NERVE. It’s like a bad acid trip that you are being forced to look at for 3:30 minutes. If you get upset that a director with actual talent is making movies too long, you ought to lynch the hacks that sync video to your “pop” music for six figures a pop. But it’s all hugs and kisses and forgiveness, because they did bring the sexy back.

The hive mind mentality of pop culture needs to get its ass kicked for being so hypocritical (yeah, that’s the weirdest personification ever, sue me). But I’ll be damned if studios edit the next Ridley Scott film because people’s ritalin wears off before the film ends.

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you can look a hurricane right in the eye

I waited until after 9/11 to write tonight’s post, although whether I can credit that to being daft or pure coincidence is another matter. Suffice it to say, however, I’m back with more to spew about than that sprinkler your drunk friend ran over backing out of someone’s driveway. Ah, the beauty of the metaphor. It almost brings a tear to one’s eye, no?

This week, I’ll run the gamut on the following topics, in no order whatsoever: House, Star Fox Command, courtesy, and Dracula. To start, I have been reading The Historian by Elizabeth Kostova, a first-time novelist and lover of European cultures and the 20th century. In essense, the novel is the Da Vinci Code of the vampire world, simply taking the concept of Jesus’s living heir and replacing it with a still-living Vlad Dracula. Like Brown’s book, Kostova blends the factual with the fictional, intertwining details of Vlad Tepes, or Vlad the Impaler, with the fictitious intrigues of the occult. Only a third of the way through the book myself, I’m unsure of exactly what will go down between our heroine and the Count, but I’m becoming fairly certain that the legend of Dracula will NOT be a legend, and that some wicked and utterly fantastic climax is awaiting me. After all, this is Dracula. That automatically made the book worth buying. The conspiracy theory and uncovering of his history is simply icing on the cake. Verdict: Recommended.

As for Command, or SFC as we call it, it’s a bit of an anomaly to me. I am enjoying the rather simplistic multiplayer due to its skill-based orientation, and unlocking each of the surprisingly unique endings has been a treat, especially in a series as devoid of character as Star Fox. Honestly, it’s been a decade since we’ve been treated with a decent title, and I’ll milk this one for all it’s worth. Currently a rank I in online but that will no doubt change to an A by week’s end.

And lastly, there’s House. What can I say? I never knew I had such an interest in medicine, let alone diagnosing patients, but the amoral actions of Hugh Laurie (of Blackadder fame) have me sold on this series. Aside from LOST and 24, there is no other show I would consider making time for during the week. At least, until Rome gets it second season. Because violence and sex are just what a growing boy needs. Well, that and beer. Can’t forget the beer.

Huh. It seems I missed “courtesy.” Apologies for that, my dear and unsuspecting reader. Hey, how did you get to be reading this anyway? No matter, if I’ve managed to keep your attention at all, I’m outdoing myself. Hopefully the next post will be less filler and more worth reading-er.

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i tore my mind on a jagged sky